Focusing on Strengths Matters for Survivors
Focusing on Strengths Matters for Survivors
Over the years, so many survivors that I’ve worked with have told me that the verbal and emotional abuse they’ve endured can be one of the most difficult things to heal from. After being told repeatedly that they are worthless, stupid, not capable of making it on their own, those words can seep into their own self-perceptions, stopping them from believing in themselves and what they are truly capable of. By offering survivors the opportunity while at Friendship Home to identify their unique personal strengths, we are able to help them see what is “right” about them after being told by an abusive partner- sometimes for years- what is supposedly “wrong” with them.
Research has shown that people recover more effectively from traumatic events when they are aware of their personal strengths and are able to use them in meaningful ways in their life. At Friendship Home, we begin by offering the opportunity to take the CliftonStrengths (for ages 15 -adult) or the Clifton StrengthsExplorer (for ages 8-14). We discuss the results, allowing the adult or child survivor to express how they see their strengths working in their lives. We also point out where we can see them as well, offering a mirror to reflect back the positive strength we have observed.
When survivors come into Friendship Home, they have often lived through a very dark and difficult time. Our goal is to help them find that inner light, strength and resilience within. One powerful way of helping do this is by offering them the chance to identify their unique strengths that can be used to help rebuild a life free from violence, where they are creating their own path, step by courageous step.
Break the Silence: https://vimeo.com/622624010
About the Author
Julie is Friendship Home’s counselor and strengths-centered advocacy coordinator. As a licensed therapist, Julie brings a unique approach to counseling survivors of domestic violence. She has trained other domestic violence shelters across the country on how to implement strengths-centered advocacy. This year, Julie celebrates her 20th year at Friendship Home.
Julie says, “It fuels me to see a survivor begin to recognize their own value and worth. To see them begin to talk through the lens of their strengths, rather than through the lens their abusive partner had used to define them as a means of control.”